As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights. Jim Gaffigan
Some Similar Quotes
  1. I’ve been fighting to be who I am all my life. What’s the point of being who I am, if I can’t have the person who was worth all the fighting for? - Stephanie Lennox
  2. There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it. - Shannon L. Alder
  3. If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.
 - Unknown
  4. I know what it is to live entirely for and with what I love best on earth. I hold myself supremely blest -- blest beyond what language can express because I am my husband's life as fully as he is mine. - Unknown
  5. I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. - Rodney Dangerfield
More Quotes By Jim Gaffigan
  1. We are all a little weird. And we like to think that there is always someone weirder. I mean, I am sure some of you are looking at me and thinking, “Well, at least I am not as weird as you, ” and I am...
  2. The only thing weaker than a toddler's handshake is their immune system.
  3. Occasionally, a dog will be presented as some training method for having a baby. "My girlfriend and I got a dog. We are going to see if we can handle that before we have kids." This is a little like testing the waters of being...
  4. TV news is like kryptonite to children. The two major shifts in taste for children to adulthood are news and mustard. Kids hate news and mustard. Well, mustard even has the word 'turd' in it. Maybe I should threaten my kids that if they don't...
  5. When your mom was not in labor yelling at me, she made me laugh so hard.
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